Many of us were raised by one or both parents being shown conditional love. When you were only shown attention or love when you did something they approved of. The rest of the time you were ignored, criticised, or neglected. You had to look, act, and do only what they approved of to be accepted and loved. This sets a child up for failed and unhealthy relationships for life unless they do deep inner child work. It also is damaging enough to cause codependency which is a constant focus on others and how they feel. Then the child thats was neglected and ignored, neglects and ignores their feelings as an adult and doesn’t ever heal. Codependency is an addiction and developes negative thinking patterns that are very damaging and unhealthy.
A child that is shown conditional love grows up and attracts partners that treats them the same way. It is the Law of Attraction. We attract what we need to heal in ourselves. Until it is healed our vibe brings that to us. That is how narcissists find us, our vibe. We need unconditional love and they are experts at showing conditional love. Perfect match.
To break the cycle you have to know you deserve love. You deserve to be loved all the time even when you make a mistake or do something someone doesn’t like. You deserve to be loved. If you don’t break the cycle you are in an endless loop of earning love. Maybe if I lost weight or dyed my hair this color they will approve and love me, We are constantly seeking approval and we shouldn’t have to. Someone should love us just like we are all the time.
You deserve love and never have to earn it. You deserve to be loved unconditionally all the time. If you break the cycle you will never attract a partner that shows conditional love again because you have raised your vibe and it no longer matches theirs.
I am a Kundalini/Higherself journey guide and Inner Child Healer. Visit soulsisterstruth.com for more blogs and info.